Three Times
by SpiffytheHiccupingRaineboe
Summary: The three times Mai misses Zuko the most.  "Mai wonders if the thing throbbing against her chest is her heart; she's sure hers is shattered into pieces."  Angst.


**A ficlet I wrote recently. Anyway, as my second fan fiction, I tried to improve. For this story, I decided to actually channel emotions into it. I hope you enjoy! I forgot it last time, so hear you go:**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender; it belongs to its creators.**

_**When he leaves**_

_Zuko disrespected his father._

_Zuko's father challenged him to an Agni Kai._

_Zuko refused, and his father burned him._

_Zuko is banished to find the Avatar._

_Zuko is leaving __**me.**_

The words painfully pounded against her head. She wonders if she's dreaming. It all seems so surreal, it happened so fast. One moment, she was pressing kisses to his cheek, and the next she is watching his ship leave. She is surprised, even for her, that she's keeping a mask of indifference. But for once, she's is honest. She truly feels…nothing. She can't feel pain or sadness...Only numbness and shock. Then, she sees him. He's at the stern of his ship, taking a final look of his home, a final look of her. She can't see his face, he's too far away, but she can tell he's looking at her.

And she explodes. She feels pure anger, burning hatred at Zuko's father for banishing him, taking her away from him. Fear wrings her guts into knots at the possibility that he could die, and she feels like she's drowning in a sea of pain and anguish. Amber eyes began to fill with tears, her throat tightens, and she begins to shake. Mai wonders if the thing throbbing against her chest is her heart; she's sure hers is shattered into pieces. She wants to scream, to call out his name, to bring him back. But she can't. She will probably never touch his hand, see his smile, or taste his lips ever again. As much as it kills her to admit it, she can't do anything prevent it. She stared helplessly at him, hoping for him to call out her name; she could still possibly hear him-

He turns away. And as the ship sails towards into the vast emptiness of the sea, Mai can feel the wetness of her tears.

_**At a ball**_

It has been one year since Zuko was banished. One year since her heart was broken. One year since her thoughts had strayed to the prince.

She no longer craved for his gentle touch, and his warm yet sometimes sad smile. No, she only regarded their love as a silly infatuation they had. They had been young and stupid. But even as Mai swore to this belief, she knew she was lying. It was easier to stitch the remains of her heart that way, to become quiet and detached and pretend she didn't love him.

She sighed, and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. All this thinking of sentimental issues was boring; almost as boring as this ball. She _should_ feel honored; the Royal Family had invited only their closest friends (basically the noblemen and their families), declaring that it was a ball to socialize and mingle with others (basically find a husband for your daughter). There were several teenagers dancing, all looking like giddy fools. The music was mediocre, barely able to scratch that in Mai's opinion, and overall, she needed some source of entertainment.

She automatically searched the room for Ty Lee, and it wasn't hard to find the pink-clad acrobat. Ty Lee was swaying happily to the music, her arms wrapped around a boy who looked dazed yet just as happy. Mai felt like time stopped. Her throat tightened, and she could feel tears beginning to sting her eyes. She remembered when _she_ was the one dancing, hand and hand with a certain amber-eyed prince—

_Mai had been sitting next to Azula and Ty Lee, half-heartedly listening to their conversation. Suddenly, Zuko appeared in front of her, asking to dance. Azula giggled mischievously while Ty Lee beamed, shoving Mai towards him. He led her to the center of the ballroom, and wrapped his hands around her waist. Mai could feel her face flush; they hadn't told anyone about their relationship, so this was a surprising gesture. But she was pleased. At least until she realized she was getting death glares from several girls across the room. She glared back at them, silently telling them Zuko was hers._

"_Mai?" His voice was nervous, sounding ever so slightly concerned._

"_Yes?"_

"_Why are you glaring daggers at random people?"_

"_Ha ha," she grumbled, not missing the pun. "Those girls are staring at us, their jealous because I'm dancing with you." He looked behind him and shrugged. Zuko abruptly stopped dancing; his cupped Mai's cheek, tilting her head so she was facing him._

"_They shouldn't be expecting any attention," he chuckled, smiling coyly as he leaned to kiss her. And when he did, she couldn't help but grin at the girls' outraged cries, Ty Lee's exciting squealing, and Azula scoffing in disgust._

Mai looked down at her feet, her vision beginning to blur. They had been so happy, not a care in the world. And it hits her; she misses him. She misses him so much it aches, it burns, it feels like her heart is about to crack. She realized that it was fine to miss him, to still love him, to long for him. The hard layers of indifference and coldness she sealed her heart with slowly melt away into sadness. As she sat there, on the verge of tears, she doesn't notice her mother coming up behind her, clucking disapprovingly.

"Mai, you should go and dance. There are several boys who seem interested in you," she encouraged. Mai looked up, seeing several boys (more like hungry dogs, she notes.) glancing at her. She let out a bitter laugh, smirking at her mother wryly.

"They shouldn't be expecting any attention."

_**When she first sees the wanted poster**_

Mai sighed. She had hoped joining Azula would be entertaining, but once again she found nothing but boredom and loneliness. Azula had changed from a mean-spirited eleven-year-old to a malicious, cruel teenager. Before leaving the Fire Nation, they had at somewhat been friends. Now, she felt more like an accomplice, a servant who obeyed her master. Ty Lee hadn't changed. She was still energetic and cheerful, babbling on about auras and what not. She lay across her bed, looking up at the ceiling. Ty Lee had commented that it would be 'interesting to see Zuko again.' Just the thought that she could see him again caused her heart to stir. Surprisingly, she found herself…hopeful. She couldn't help it; she found herself rejoicing in hope, and her heart felt light and almost happy.

"Mai?" There was a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," she said, sitting up. When Ty Lee walked in the room, Mai's face was emotionless and composed.

"Um…" Ty Lee's voice was shaky, and her mouth was turned into an unusually sad frown. She looked at Mai with sad, tear-filled eyes and she could feel herself soften, just a little bit.

"What's wrong?" She asked, taking a step towards her. Ty Lee sniffed, and pulled a piece of rolled parchment from her pocket.

"It's…Zuko." With a sudden burst of agility, she snatched the parchment from the whimpering girl. Her breath caught in her throat as she slowly unrolled the wanted poster, dreading the sight she was about to see. She stared at the parchment, her fingers shaking. He was so…different. His face was contorted, and he looked older, angrier. His hair was shaven except for a long ponytail, the mark of the banished. But the thing that shocked her the most was his scar. She hadn't known how bad his scar was; she wasn't sure if it covered his whole face or if was just a thin line. It covered his entire left eye and stretched over to his ear. It looked horrible, painful, like he had suffered when he received it.

"Mai? You're shaking." Ty Lee's voice sounded far away, like she at the end of a tunnel. Ty Lee put her hand on her should, but Mai shook it off. She was so angry, she was sure Ty Lee could feel the heat of it through her skin. She felt undying hatred for the Firelord; how could he do this to his son? Put his son through this unimaginable pain, than banish him? Ozai wasn't a human being; he was a horrible monster that had to be destroyed before he hurt anyone else.

And suddenly, her heart is breaking all over again. She knew that he went through this pain, that he suffered, but actually seeing it was devastating. She wants nothing in the world to embrace him, to reassure him that she was here. She, unlike his father, would not betray him. Mai vows to love him, no matter large the scar was. It doesn't even ruin his good looks if she thinks about it. He just looks so…vulnerable. Like he needs to be loved.

"I'm fine," she says, reassuring herself. "I'm fine," she repeated, meeting Ty Lee's eyes. Ty Lee hiccupped, and suddenly she was attacked by her acrobat, her arms wrapped around her neck.

"He-he lo-oks so-so." Ty Lee sobbed into Mai's arm, gripping her robe. Mai stroked her hair, knowing she understood the pain in the banished prince took no rest.

"I know."

**I'm really working on improving my writing, so all advice is welcome . Happy Sexy Maiko Week! Though this isn't very sexy…just angsty. xD**

**-SHR**


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